Why do we give so much power to things that don’t make us happy? (Part 1 – we are unsure of ourselves)

My last post got me thinking a lot about what we give power to in our lives. What we let control us and influence us. I realised how much power we give to things that don’t grow us as individuals, that don’t serve us or make us happy. It made me think why is that? Why do we do that? One potential answer is that it is the easy way out. When we don’t fight against anything we feel as though we are in a stronger position. We think we have it handled and ‘in our control’ when in fact we don’t at all. We are practically opening the door and welcoming in all our problems with open arms and flowers. We are dropping our walls so low that anyone and everyone can climb them and come take control over our own land.

It something I have always done. I’ve never been one to handle conflict well. I hate conflict. I shy away from it. Any sort of conflict and I will tune it out as best as I can. In the car my mum has the funniest road rage and whenever anything happened I would literally duck. I would pray that the ground would swallow me up. I’d avoid all eye contact. In primary school I used to literally run in the opposite direction to the conflict. I hate it. So yes I would always take the easy way out. If that meant not arguing or fighting for my own worth then so be it. Oh how wrong I was to think that was the easy way out. How wrong I was to believe I was in control. I never fought them so they just kept coming back stronger with more ammunition. I never stood up for myself and so my opinion on myself decreased to a point where I hated myself. I hated everything about me. I saw myself as pathetic but never realised that I’m the one who did that to myself. I pushed myself that low down. 

In that moment I realised how important it is to care, value and respect yourself. How important it is to be so sure of yourself that nothing can get in the way of that.

Another potential answer is something I’m sure a few of you have heard before. 

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

Now this one links with the previous one. We barely value ourselves so we don’t think we deserve much. We think we deserve the minimum amount of love or care. We don’t think we should be respected as much as we should be. Because of this we give power to things that are so mentally toxic for us. This is so damaging for us because not only do we then see ourselves lowly, but we allow others to see us lowly. A lot of the time it’s the care and love from someone else that helps us out of dark places, if we aren’t getting that then all hope is lost right?

Remember your worth a lot more than you believe. You are here out of a billion chances. You were given this life. There is literally no one else like you in this world. No one! You have come into this world and just your presence has impacted the world more than you know. There are people around you who believe their life is better because you’re in it. Your mother nurtured you in her womb for 9 months with love and care knowing that you were a beautiful miracle and you don’t see that? You are so much more than you see! So much more than you feel, than you believe, than you’re willing to believe.

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Just your average 18 year old girl trying to make a mark in this world!

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