Today I did nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up, showered and just sat down doing nothing. All day. Now let me tell you how it felt; absolutely wonderful.
For all of 2 hours.
Why is that you ask?
Well, I was bored out of my mind. I was overthinking random things as I usually do. I was alone and felt it. It felt so cold and lonely. Then something happened, something that shifted my thoughts. Something small in reality but its effects were colossal.
I felt the sun on my face.
(Side note: I live in the UK and due to recent weather, no this definitely doesn’t happen every day.)
It felt like an old friend, it felt like a keepsake from my childhood, it felt like a reminder and it made me think. I thought about the last time I felt the sun on my face or allowed myself to take it in. I thought of the days I would be on holiday with my family and I would lie in the sun with no problems. I thought of the mornings I would wake up feeling the sun through my curtains and actually be excited for the day! The days I would have something to be excited about. The days I cared for myself. Its those days where even if we are still having bad thoughts and negative feelings, we are pushing past them and fighting them. We fight them because even if we don’t realise it, we are loving ourselves.
Unfortunately there will come a time when the fighting will end. We give up. We lose hope or we just feel tired.
When did we all forget to love ourselves?
Why have we forgotten HOW to love ourselves?
Contrary to modern day beliefs, loving yourself is not doing on that slimming tea you see being publicised by your favourite Kardashian. It isn’t going on the same hike that Selena Gomez was reported doing a week ago. It isn’t some awkward shaped meditative pose that is supposed to clear your chakras. Loving yourself isn’t always about treating yourself; it isn’t always about drinking a smoothie in the morning or wearing your favourite top.
The truth is, loving yourself starts with you and ends with you. It starts in your mind with the thoughts you think every day, with the way you view situations, with how you wake up every morning. Loving yourself starts with being yourself even if you can’t find yourself. To love yourself you need to truly understand who you are.
You are a miracle. You are a beautiful piece of the world’s history. You are here today. You have a family and friends and a wonderful chance at a beautiful life. Together we need to shift our mind set to always remember we are a more than we believe.
A few tips on ways to incorporate more positivity into your life.
- Listen to only happy songs. I know you have a bunch of depressing sad songs that you listen to trust me I have them too! Together we need to delete them from our phones and force ourselves to only listen to music that puts us in a good mood. Music has a very influential power over us. Music has the power to control our thoughts, set the mood etc. I read recently that ‘Research indicates that music stimulates emotions through specific brain circuits. Listening to music can create peak emotions, which increase the amount of dopamine, a specific neurotransmitter that is produced in the brain and helps control the brain’s reward and please centres. We often feel emotions are experienced from our heart, but an enormous part of emotional stimulus is communicated through the brain.’
(To read more about the effect music has on our brains and feelings then click the following link.)
- Happy quotes only! I know from time to time you get that urge to Google a few deep and ‘thoughtful’ quotes and then you read them and convince yourself that you can relate. STOP THAT! Google positivity only. I am the worst at acting as though I can relate to something that I actually can’t. I am very easily influenced and realising this fact has helped me a lot to love myself more because I am much more realistic in my thinking. I won’t allow myself to feel something that doesn’t actually relate to me at all.
- Books and TV shows. Now I am not saying these relate to everyone but to me I can get very affected by the books I read and the shows I watch. That doesn’t mean you need to stop reading them or stop watching the shows. However as you escape into the land they take you to do not let yourself get sucked into their feelings or thoughts. Your life isn’t their life. You have your own life and even if you’re trying to escape it for one reason or the other don’t let yourself get into deep only for you to wake up to reality and realise that your life hasn’t changed.
- Surround yourself with positive people. I can’t stress this enough! The people you are around constantly have such a huge impact on your life and your mood. You also have a huge impact on theirs! You influence them as much as they influence you. By focusing on making your own life positive you inadvertently make theirs more positive. You could be helping someone else feel more positive about their life whilst helping yourself too.
- Positive affirmations. I didn’t realise the power of them until very recently. I always knew how powerful words are I just didn’t understand the power of your own words on yourself. You are your biggest enemy. We always hear that in fact I have probably written it in a few blogs. However realise that you are also your biggest most supportive friend. Your words have so much power on your brain that when you tell yourself how amazing yourself, how beautiful you are and how powerful you are and you tell yourself it often then you will believe it. The words of your enemies hurt but your own words are the strongest bandage.
- Be spontaneous. Sometimes our greatest joys in life come from the moments we do not plan. The times we do not expect. The things we experience that we weren’t prepared for. If you see something you want to do then go out and do it? What are the reasons that you’re stopping yourself? Can you overcome them so you can experience something you really want to experience?
- Start taking control of your life. Start making things happen for you. Once you’ve lost control of your life, the fight to get it back is a struggle, trust me I know. It most definitely doesn’t happen straight away. How to do this is by making decisions for you. Make decisions with yourself in mind; your health, wealth and happiness. Realise that your thoughts can be changed simply by another thought. Our thoughts become our actions so if you think negative thoughts, think a positive thought for each and every negative one. Make your surroundings the way you want them to be. Be with those you want to be around. Live in a place you feel comfortable and in control of. Your life is like a beautiful story that you have complete control over. You decide how to start the next chapter. You decide how this one ends and everything in the middle you decide how you react to it all.
Now onto why if it sounds so simple, it is actually extremely hard to adopt these actions into your life.
We are against our own growth. We have been surrounded by so much negativity and people who put us down and don’t believe in our personal growth that we have lost that belief in ourselves. We are fed every day by a poison so strong that it has become us.
I recently wrote a book called “25 Realisations”. The word ‘Realisation’ is my new favourite word honestly. When you realise and are aware of the negativity in your life you honestly gain that piece of control you can’t get without realising the problems in the first place. So realise how you are your worst enemy, your biggest hater, your most negative friend.
Realise the power of loving yourself. Motivating, supporting, encouraging yourself. Rewarding yourself, making yourself happy. At the end of the day we live our own lives. No one lives them for us so why are we letting others dictate it for us. Love is so strong. Love has the power to change your life around completely. Love has the power to bring light and laughter everywhere you go. Love can make the worst situation seem like a positive challenge. Love can encompass you and shield you from anything undeserving of you.
So start by following the steps I gave, start taking control of your life and understanding the power of love.