I always write about how as humans we crave attention, support and contact from other human beings but I haven’t really gone into detail about the opposite, giving back. Realising that sometimes those around you need you more than you need them. Sometimes regardless of the situation you’re in, you have to set aside your worries and be there for the people who are always there for you.
Sometimes we get too used to always being supported that we completely disregard the fact that the person supporting us may be in need of support themselves. Now it is no fault of our own that we don’t always see this but that is why I wanted to write about it.
You see I believe in the philosophy of being the type of person you’d want to be friends with, you’d want to surround yourself with.
Everyone will have a different answer for the type of person they would want to be friends with so write yours down. Here’s mine;
1. I would want a friend who makes me laugh
2. Someone who supports me and cares about me
3. Someone I can rant to and know they’re listening all the way through.
4. Someone who I can experience new things with
5. A friend who doesn’t judge but advises.
Now these are a few key characteristics for me yet I am not as picky as it may sound. If i click with someone and we get along then I consider us friends.
Now looking at my list it is obvious that I need people in my life who support me, listen and care. People who will be by my side during the hard times and will lift me up when I fall down. So if I expect this from the people in my life then they must expect the same from me. This isn’t about being a ‘conditional friend’ but it is about being a human being. Treat others the way you expect to be treated.
Do not be a hypocrite (one of my pet peeves).
Remember that you’re not the only one going through a hard time. Sometimes someone will be sharing their own strength with you to hold you up and to keep you going but it’ll actually be the last piece of strength they have in them.
Now I am not saying you should pretend to be fine yourself, focus on them and neglect yourself. Just simply empathise with them. Show them that they aren’t alone. Work through your problems together. Sometimes however it is the case that you need to set aside your issues momentarily and give them your attention and focus and help them in whatever they’re doing.
They’re human too, they need you too.
A lot of the time as you help others through their problems you will feel better yourself. You see helping others gives us a rewarding feeling. A sense of accomplishment. Just an overall very warm feeling and often this feeling can help clear up some of our own emotions and worries. I realised something once and pretty much created my own quote to live by;
“You cannot spread light into this world and miss yourself.” – Me
Ever since I told myself this I have witnessed a deeper meaning to life. A greater sense of what matters and what we should focus on. You could dramatically change someone’s life without even realising it just through a few words of encouragement. By being a shoulder to lean on you could instil hope into someone’s life once again. Never underestimate what you can do for others.
Remember how it makes you feel when someone is there for you. You can help someone else feel that way too.
Just remember that sometimes they need you more than you need them.