Gossiping. We all do it, we all give in and find ourselves digging deeper into someone else’s business. We don’t always want to do it but sometimes we just can’t help it. I am human, I do it too. But thankfully over the years I’ve become more aware of what lines not to cross. What not to say, how to stop yourself from ending up just backbiting about someone. There are steps to take within your mind that will prevent you from being someone you wouldn’t want to be friends with, pretty much.
Firstly remember that at the end of the day it is their life not yours. No matter what you say or what you think you cannot change their decisions, your words will have no effect on them. Don’t be so quick to judge when you do not know the full situation. Here’s the thing, assuming things about people is one of the worst things you can do. In fact one of my pet peeves is people who assume things they actually have no idea about at all.
Secondly if you find yourself talking for hours about this gossip, wanting to bring it up in every conversation you have, find yourself getting angry and frustrated over it then take that as a warning sign to step back. Do not get so emotionally attached and sucked into someone else’s drama. It won’t do you any good nor the other person.
Thirdly try avoid it where you can. Gossip is like a sugary sweet. We know we can’t have it but we have it anyway because its almost addictive. Do not become a gossip addict. It doesn’t make you look good to those around you even if they are gossiping with you. It will take over your life like any other addiction and you’ll find yourself unnecessarily doing it. It will lead to judging. The moment you begin to judge others and take action upon those judgements then you will create enemies. I have blogged about judging others, in fact I wrote about it in my book because its something important to shed light upon. I previously mentioned, and I stick by the fact that, judging is normal and often can’t be helped however action upon the judgements is completely your own choice and when you cross that line it is hard to go back and it doesn’t make you a good person.
Fourthly, I am aware that not everyone knows when they’re having a discussion and when they’re actually just gossiping. We can feel quite passionate about the situations we are talking about. We may have a personal connection with them. We may have experienced something similar before. That is all fine and understandable however remember that no matter what you know, who you know or how you feel, it isn’t actually your situation or problem. You’re not as involved as you feel. Please do not try bring in unnecessary drama into your life.
We underestimate the power of emotions, feelings and our surroundings. We don’t realise how much of impact they can have on each other. The smallest thing your eyes witness can have a huge impact on your emotions. As humans we are emotionally vulnerable. The smallest things can have the largest impact on us. When we get involved in other peoples problems it impacts our feelings too. Even if we can’t relate at all. The more we speak about them the more involved we feel and it will act on our feelings. You may find yourself feeling angry for no apparent reason only because the situation you have been ‘gossiping’ about for so long has made you angry. There is no need to make ourselves feel things we cannot relate to, we do not need to feel.
Gossiping does not make you a bad person. We all do it. Just remember the boundaries, remember what lines not to cross. Remember to stop before you get too involved.