Serious Talks #1

This is a segment like the many I created (and didn’t stick with but I promise I’m going to work on that!!!). The difference with this one is that it’s important to me. Like extremely important, on a real and deep personal level. Here we will discuss the topics that we are afraid to approach, talk about those hard to word subjects and hopefully find comfort in knowing we aren’t alone. So here goes…

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What do you do when you feel as though you’re disappointing everyone around you?

How can you stop yourself from feeling stuck in a cycle of depression, anxiety, fear and anger?

I asked myself these questions a few times. I guess the obvious answer is to realise that other peoples opinions don’t matter because at the end of the day you’re living your life not the. You should do what you want and love to do and only that. 

The problem with that answer is that it’s 100% correct. 

Now you may wonder why I think that’s a problem, well if I took myself away from the environment that makes me feel useless it’ll hurt more to leave. You see this is an environment I’m familiar with, I occasionally enjoy being in, I had dreams once upon a time to conquer and I am scared of who I’ll be without it. I know that time has changed and I have changed. I no longer have that desire to succeed for the right reasons. The WHY in it all has turned into something that’s not me, it’s not who I am or who I would like to be. 
So what is it I want?
I don’t know.
So what am I going to do about that?
Figure it out. You see the way I see it is we have 2 main options here. We either lose ourselves completely and give up or we bounce back every time we feel like giving up. We figure it all out because we deserve to give ourselves that time.

We don’t give ourselves the time and commitment we need to care for ourselves. We have to stop putting ourselves last! The hardest thing we have to do is step away from the environment thats not bringing us up but pushing us down. Now sometimes we don’t realise that the environment we are in is doing that to us. A lot of the time the environment itself isn’t bad but it’s not for us. It takes such a big toll on our mental health but we don’t realise until we’re in too deep. The thought of stepping away from the environment that I’ve been in for years now, from the people who’ve seen me grow and from the dreams I once had but no longer care for scares me so much. I’m scared I’m nothing without it and without them. That’s why I know I need to go. I shouldn’t ever see myself as nothing without something else.  I should value myself enough to know that I am more than enough no matter what I’m doing or who I’m with. It’s not easy though to step away from memories and experiences. It’s not easy to hate being in the place you love. Nothing in life is meant to be easy though is it?

One thing I realised that I must keep telling myself is that success in this world doesn’t just lie on one pathway. There are many things I can do and be great at. There are many things I want to accomplish, goals and dreams to be so much more. The type of things that would feed my soul, make me happy and not hurt me day in and day out.

So in conclusion, if you’ve stuck by me with this post and get the gist of what I’m saying then stay with me. Together let’s take the hardest step away so that we can make the most progressive step forward.

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Just your average 18 year old girl trying to make a mark in this world!

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