Serious Talks #2

So you have diagnosed yourself with depression.

Well guess what? 

You’re me!

In year 9 I realised I wasn’t happy. I felt sad all the time and I didn’t know why. I felt sad even when everything around me was going fine. I made a friend who told me she had extreme depression and through that friendship I understood what depression really was, how you could have it even if things are fine, how the happiest people somehow have it and how I had depression. The problem is that friend always seemed to make me want to feel worse rather than better. She’d constantly lie to my face and it left me confused and quite lonely.

I decided I must continue suffering alone, make sure no one knew and try get over it. Long story short, that never happened.

I came to understand it more through my own experiences. I realised that it doesn’t seem to truly ever leave you. It is a journey in itself, one that destroys you but still leaves you breathing. It was the realisation that I was still here and breathing that made me turn it around and learn from it rather than be defeated by it. It doesn’t always end up being a learning curve, there are moments it defeats me and my only option is to sleep and hope it doesn’t come back.

That’s ok though.

I have realised that as long I am still breathing, still waking up in the morning and getting on with my day, still communicating with people around me and saying yes to opportunities that present themselves then I am going to get through it, no matter how far it pushes me down.

A good friend recently told me (even though it was completely off topic, I have implemented it in all parts of my life) that whatever problems or issues you have it is between you and the other person. In this case it is between me and my mind. That doesn’t mean you can’t accept help or advice. That means that you still have the power to get through it whether anyone is with you or not. So don’t be scared, don’t let yourself feel like it is the end of the world. Let yourself discover the enormity of strength you have inside of you. Realise how brave you are and keep bouncing back even if it is the last thing you want to do.

 

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Just your average 18 year old girl trying to make a mark in this world!

5 thoughts on “Serious Talks #2

  1. Yes, I self-diagnosed myself with depression a while back as well. I find the older I get, the better handle I have at controlling it and moving forward. I equally had a negative friend who seemed to want to bring me down further.
    You definitely have the power to go through anything alone and fight through. Thank you for this uplifting post 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, I love this so much Alisa. It’s so simple, so pure – just the revealing of the feelings deep inside your heart. How I love WordPress for giving people like you the opportunity to speak and therefore the opportunity to be heard. My daughter will be going into Year 9 in Septemeber. I don’t know if this is the reason this post touches me, or because I write about depression. Maybe a bit of both. I cannot fathom how any child manages to get one GCSE let alone the minimum 5 to be able to get into college. Life is so hard! But I have learnt that with Jesus in my life, I can face anything. I know others find other things, but for me, it is the only way through the dark times. I am really looking forward to reading more of your posts and I hope also that you meet many lovely people on here who can encourage you and support you in all that you are going through.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you thank you! Your comment put a smile on my face. I want to be able to shed light on this as often as I can and connect with as many people as possible 🙌 we truly can face any obstacle in our way with the right mindset and self-belief. I look forward to reading your posts too and I do hope to meet many more people on here. Thank you so much for your kind words and support 💕

      Liked by 1 person

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